a half-hearted attempt

I remember now,
How,
I viciously chain smoked
While I wrote,
All about what bothers me.
And how,
here again,
With a full pack, I ready myself for the worst.
No no,
I ready myself for the best.

And the rest is yet to come.

"Be here now." Live in the present regardless of thoughts of past or future tense.

As I tense up,
About trying not to be tense.

Be Here Now

How those words have repeated surfaced in the most interesting times in my life.
Where when I feel at my lowest, and when I feel most alone.
Suddenly a new "you" pops up and requests my all with these three small words.

Be Here Now.

Oh Jesus, how sometimes you volumes, meaning to most, very trivial, but to me the world.

Back to present of the present.
I light one up for inspiration.
As if every inhalation,
Will conjour up,
Some memory for me,
To put down and see,
If it will begin to make sense.
Oh nothing makes sense.
On one hand, I am told to push and keep fair distance.
And on the other I am told to risk it all
With no fear of outcome or consequence.

Live in the now and see how,
See how things go
See how they grow
See how they prosper and where they flounder

Like the little mermaid's flounder?
Oh, he wasn't so bad.
But he's a fish,
And as much as I wish,
It was as simple as those fish,
I'm sure those fish have indentity crises too.

All the best poets can rhyme without care.
Make all their words and meaings fit perfectly

In simple symmetry

But me,

I ramble on
And continue my song with a sequence or rhyme,
Because I rarely have time
For all that nonsense.

I'd rather tell you

What is true,

In an ugly manner
Thank speak flittingly with generic, approved fashion.
I make no statement that fits in magazines
Or in books you read

So effortlessly
So without pretty words or normal symmetry

This is me.

I want you to be able to read
to be able to see
Through and past all those clever rhymes and wit
Into the vastness in my chest where the center of me

Is the all of me

This heart that beats
(blood and peace)

This mouth that speaks
(strong not weak)

These hands that feel
(the skin I peel)

These wounds that heal
(scars proof I'm real)

It beats constantly

It speaks truthfully

They feel endlessly

They heal imperfectly

This is a rhyming frenzy.

I rhyme to vaguely get my point across miles and states
And back again to this same time and place
Where I am

Be here now,
with me.

If I had it my way, I would speak nothing but poetry.

Endless sentences of beauty, peace and emotion...

But this mediocre A, B, A, B, C

is all I've got in me